#the pest likes to bite

[speedgifposting]

THIS FATAL MANIPULATION DRAWING WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!

collabed on this piece with the bestie, this was their first time actually drawing fatal and i say they did a pretty good job :3

[spider-man-2o99]

“why are you always only ever talking about, like, spider-man 2099’s childhood and mental health issues instead of posting panels of him Biting People” uh. because... spider-man 2099 the comic book... also does this.?

[bonefall]

Do the cats know what corn (mais) is?

Not impossible!

Sweetcorn is grown in England, though there's troubles with its roots being shallow and causing erosion in soil. Problem is that it doesn't grow wild, so every encounter Clan cats would have with it would be strictly on a farm context.

Oat, barley, rye, and wheat regularly escape containment, and WindClan collects these farm escapees to make into dough. Unlike SkyClan, WindClan only steals in hardship.

The cats would think corn is some bizarre human crossbreed between a fruit, a moth, and a grain. I can see some WindClan warriors trying to grind it out of curiosity, once or twice.

Their word for it would probably be linguistically similar to "Grain Cocoon" because unshucked corn is like some bizarre vegetable caterpillar that grows on a wheat stalk.

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

you know this guy? he’s on my wall and idk who the fuck he is. i would ask him, but he doesn’t seem to speak english. or russian. Sad!

i think i do. he looks quite a lot like some of the weevils we’ve got down here. he’s some kind of broad-nosed weevil. it’s hard to tell which exactly he is due to the lighting, but i think he’s probably a root weevil (strawberry? lilac?) or a black vine weevil

[stromer]

i love this guy!!!!!!

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Is there anything more unsettling than your four cats staring in the same direction down the hall, only for you to later find a spider on the back of your bedroom door?

"Aww, what are you silly little guys doing over-? GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY, IS THAT A BIG HONKIN' RECLUSE???"

[thishazeleyeddemon]

votes are in and I'm just going to talk about my OC for a bit.

So an idea I've had for a while is that once they have more than a handful of demigods who have reached adulthood, Charon pays some of them to work as monster hunters alongside Protectors. Clarisse and Gleason Hedge traveled together, which is where they found Chronic Runaway Kathy Lionett

for whatever reason Kathy like imprints on Clarisse. the reason is because she thinks Clarisse is tall and cool and also she appreciates being spoken too honestly if bluntly

Clarisse is fucking PERPLEXED. why do I have this fucking kitty hanging around me now.

she intends to just leave Kathy at camp but Kathy continues to only really be willing to listen to Clarisse so Clarisse is like *grumbles*

anyway. Look inside your local abandoned warehouse and you will find a weird little catgirl to mentor. This will make your life harder but also more interesting.

(Kathy is a daughter of Ailuros)

[savageboar]

long legged sac spider vs brown recluse spider

the spider in my room

it's a long legged sac spider

[bunnyb34r]

I really hate movie theaters but I saw every hunger games movie in theaters and I'm really intrigued by the adaptation of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (especially since the book just came out like two years ago??) so 👀 might have to go

[todayisafridaynight]

aoki propaganda so horrible in march he was a stain under my shoe today he is a stain on my heart (but still a stain under my shoe i hate him so horribly but...i wanna kiss him...) masato era tho is forever in my heart hashtag double standards

my impact on this site is making mates love terrible people and i cant be prouder

[tu-ut]

absolutely OBSESSED with the PHENOMENAL Ingo Muzzle Propaganda™ courtesy of @dingo-on-a-farm (those pieces are just. 💯💯💯💦💦💦💦💦💦)

except now all I've been thinking of is Ingo shoving Emmet onto his knees in an O-ring and some thick black leather cuffs because "naughty little brothers that bite don't get mouth-closing privileges, Emmet." (⁠◡⁠ ∆⁠◡)

[rattydearest]

My profile pic over the years

[noctomania]

craigslist is where you can buy your first mattress from a fella who was clearly tweaking out for $40.

and i slept on that mattress for like a year.

[icedille]

i need to WORK so i can get this shit done before the evening and not end up having a mental breakdown at 11pm but the blorbos from my brain are haunting me :(

[captain-ultimat-doggo]

Humans entering space and realizing we are so small. We are mice compared to these giant races with their advanced machinery and technologies and experiences beyond us- except that we're humans. And our engineers dive into the new tech and once we learn the principles we also soon realize how Inefficient everything is. Their "microchips" are the size of cars, their storage drives are basically buildings, and they somehow store less data than ours. So, human companies take advantage, and tech starts rolling out. Massive and there's a lot of wasted space so that it can be managed with larger hands/pincers/claws/tentacles, but also so much more efficient than anything the galaxy has seen before.

Human technicians start hopping ships and upkeeping the general maintenance, the stuff that most aliens put off or don't notice because they never access the crevices of their ships. As human companies become more popular and lead the tech world in everything from warp cores to game stations ("it's so compact! How are the graphics so good?" Says a 60' tall grimbleback, holding a new VR headset that has all of its components included because it's so BIG by our tech standards), soon many things have accessibility ports for humans to be able to use as well. This means that these shiprats hoping ship to ship cause such a huge improvement in everything running smoothly, and there's a huge downtick in pests on ships because those "pests" are not only big enough and aggressive enough to bite a pitbull or a person in half, they're invasive to so many planets and humans hate nothing more than dog killing planet overrunning monsters.

All the while, from the Aliens perspective, humans are an elusive race that don't fraternize much with them. You almost never see a human as most places aren't exactly safe for the little things to run around in. They do export so much stuff though, and the custodial staff at the Central Galactic Outpost insists that there's more humans around than any other race if you just know where to look.

And sure it's somewhat known that some of the little daredevils hop ships and help out in exchange for room and board, usually without permission, but that can't be that common, can it?

Maybe your ship is running better this cycle ever since you stopped at the last station, that just means that tuneup was better than you thought. And maybe for some reason that program you were working on last night is finished when you wake up, but you're so tired maybe you finished it before you passed out. Somehow that faulty light in the galley has fixed itself as well, which is odd, but maybe the Engineer finally got to it. You'd know if there was someone else on your ship.

Right?

... You leave a little bowl of berries out as a thank you, just in case. You're not sure what humans like but you've heard they have a sweet tooth.

[selineram3421]

здраствуйте можно сделать реакцию на ревность аластора

Translated:

Hi, can I get a reaction to Alastor's jealousy?

Yes.

Jealousy Headcanon 1

Alastor X Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ platonic to romantic, violence, all caps in bold italics = SOUND EFFECTS, implied torture/murder, gore? eyeballs, possessive? Alastor wants all of your attention ⚠

Alastor has never felt jealous! How absurd of you to think that! Hahaha! Ha... Who is that demon taking up your attention?

He always had your attention.

You could be talking to the Princess but still focus on him.

Hell, you could be checking in a guest and still keep up with his tale of the day.

But now it was quite odd.

There was a demon coming by the hotel, not to see if they were interested in the cause but to use up his friend's precious time.

Even now the beastly thing walked up to the check in counter and started up a conversation with you.

He watched from the bar.

"Hey! I see its dead as ever in here.", the dragon demon grinned as they leaned on the counter.

"Not true~", you had replied. "I checked in four new guests!"

Yes, you had a knack of persuasion. Able to convince many to do almost anything. Sometimes even him.

"Oh yeah? How many sinners walked in?", the scaled creature leaned close.

Far too close for his liking.

"I just told you how many.", you replied and placed a finger on the dragon's snout, pushing them back as well. "Personal space."

He didn't like this demon.

Everything about them set something off. Their manners, their way of speaking, the way they move-

"Oh come on, I don't bite sugar cake~", the beast took your hand and kissed their way up to your elbow.

The way they t̵̬̥̻͂̿̈́ȏ̴̒͠u̸c̷̈́̊̆́̓͘h̷e̴̖̖͒̓͂͋̎ḑ̴̣̋͜ you.

"Nope!", you yanked your arm away and held it close. "None of that.", you laughed nervously with an uncomfortable smile.

It looked wrong. Your smile should be a happy one.

"I said I don't bite!", they laughed and tried to grab at your arm again. "You know I'm messing! When's your break?", they leaned over the counter, still trying to get at something to pull you closer. "I know a good bar to go to, or we can go to the club! I'd like to see your ass in something a little less-"

"Ew, no.", you rejected and backed away.

"Come on!", they started to climb on the counter. "Its just one time! I'll even help you get in and out of your clothes.", they grabbed onto your sleeve.

That's ENOUGH!

He quickly shadow traveled and snatched the wrist of the dragon.

"I believe they said no."

The beast growled with a sneer before looking at him, freezing up once realizing who had their wrist.

"I was just joking man. Haha..", the dragon looked between him and you. "I understand! I'll back away. The slut is yours."

"Excuse me!?", you said angrily.

His antlers grew, the low static that hummed now raising up in volume.

"₵₳ⱤɆ ₮Ø ⱤɆ₱Ɇ₳₮ ₮Ⱨ₳₮?"

"The slut-"

SNAP

He held the demon's snout shut as they screamed and cried over their broken wrist.

"Now, there is a no killing rule in the hotel.", he said and then grinned menacingly. "But that doesn't apply outside."

His smile widened after seeing the panic in their eyes.

"Dear.", he turned to face you. "Has this guest overstayed their welcome?"

You stared at the beast with such a terrifyingly hateful glare.

"Yes they have.", you replied, crossing your arms. "I'd like to keep a souvenir, for memories."

And then you gave him that lovely smile.

"Alastor, do you think you could get me a dragon eye or two? I hear they make nice details to things."

"I'll make sure to get them.", he released the demon, only for his tendrils to take hold of them. "I won't be long.", he reassured, lifting up your hand to kiss the back of it.

He saw you blush before he 'escorted' the demon outside.

After finishing up (and calling Niffty to clean up), he returned with two freshly picked dragon eyes.

You thanked him with an odd little gleam in your eyes. No doubt your mind jumping idea to idea of what you could create with them.

Now with the pest gone, he would have your attention again.

Just like he wanted

"Thank you Alastor. I'll be able to make something interesting with these."

"I can't wait to see what you make this time."

Perhaps he'll ask you that question sooner than later.

Of course he has to prepare everything to properly court you.

I am using a website to translate requests. Please let me know if I have translated anything wrong.

~Seline, the person.

Taglist@

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ML for Alastor🎙